


Mash 100th

by nonamouse



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 04:53:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2054370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonamouse/pseuds/nonamouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles originally written for various challenges at Mash 100th.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crush

**Author's Note:**

> MASH is not mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the Mash 100th relief challenge.

Radar isn't sure when deep, unabiding admiration crosses over into crush territory. But he knows that Hawkeye is just the greatest guy and writes letters home about it. His mother's glad he's been able to make friends, being such an awkward child. And his father is proud and wants to know if his boy had seen combat yet.

Radar isn't sure "friends" is the word and he worries what Hawkeye might think of that.

Trapper lays a reassuring hand on Radar's shoulder. "He knows kid and it's all right."

Radar lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

~Fin


	2. Crushed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So maybe this one wasn't written for a Mash 100th Challenge. Radar is a fan, Houilhan is not.

Margaret complained loudly and to anyone within earshot whether they listened or not. And they didn't, not that it stopped her. She noisily sipped her scotch and soda.

"I never want to speak to Frank Burns again!" She griped. "And if I hear one more word about that wife of his..." She trailed off half thoughtfully. "What is it? Am I not pretty enough? Is that it?"

"I think you're beautiful, Major Houlihan." Radar spoke quietly from somewhere to her left.

"What did you say?" She looked at him, her mouth tightening at the corners.

"I- nothing, sir. Ma'am." Radar cast his eyes down. "S-sorry."

~Fin


	3. Strange Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the Mash 100th relief challenge.

War makes people do strange things, which is why, Hawkeye supposes, he's sitting in Henry's chair with his trousers open and Radar kneeling in front of him. And why, Hawkeye muses, he's letting this happen.

Radar's still wearing his cap; the rough canvas feels odd under Hawkeye's fingers where there should be soft hair. Neither speaks or makes a sound and when it's over Radar rises slowly, grabs his clipboard and moves away.

"Radar. I could..." Hawkeye makes a sort of helpless gesture.

Radar smiles thinly. "No sir, thank you sir." And is gone before Hawkeye can voice anything further.

~Fin


	4. Bones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the Mash 100th "written in the style of" challenge. Written in the style of Chuck Paulaniuck.

There are more than a dozen types of broken bones. A spiral break indicates twisting; a compression fracture means a fall. A fragmented fracture means bullets went in; smashed the bone to smithereens and I have to put them back together again.

It can take hours finding all the pieces. So many tiny fragments of bone and shrapnel scattered inside of some soldier and only two solutions. On a bad day, the sound and smell of the bone saw makes you despair for next time. But if you're lucky, the screws are enough.

Screws have never ever worked for me.

~Fin


	5. Interoffice Email

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the Mash 100th anachronism challenge.

Date: Thu, 14 Apr 1951 00:43:13 -0700 (PDT)  
From: Lt. Col. H. Blake (pflypfishingpfan)  
Subject: Memo  
To: Maj. F. Burns (f_face), Maj. M. Houlihan (hawt_lyps), Capt. J. McIntyre (trap_er), Capt. B.F. Pierce (oOhawkeyeOo), First Lt. F. Mulcahy (DaGoR3D), Cpl. W. O'Rielly (radar)

Attention:

Today's senior staff meeting will be held at 14:00 sharp, and no excuses for being late. Not even if Hawkeye and Trapper glue you to your cot, Frank. And speaking of which, quit gluing Major Burns to his cot! You guys are really skating on thin ice.

Lt. Col. H. Blake

[-----------------]  
I'd rather be fishing.


	6. Soothes the Savage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure this was written for a Mash 100th challenge, but I don't know which one. It's about music. And Frank Burns.

Frank always hated the noise in the operating room. It spoke of chaos. Those two goons flirting with nurses (and, at times, Frank could swear, one another) shouting and, worse yet, singing.

But once stateside, Frank found he needed noise to concentrate and steady his hands as he worked. Classical at first and, though peaceful and mild, even the softest of symphonies never did the trick. He switched to standards, My Blue Heaven and others, bought recording after recording, trying to find the right one.

And after the fourth try he thought back on Korea and realized he never would.

~Fin


End file.
